the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He better not be in your backpack
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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