so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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