I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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