Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
