I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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