maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Randomize
