I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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