you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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