i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
