How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
