did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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