You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
