So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My bed smells like the plague
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