roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
