What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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