it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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