It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
