I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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