apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
