where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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