well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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