Already got asked if we're dating
My cat gives me a boner
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
