You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
