Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize