i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
