Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
