Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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