he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
