So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
