So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
