I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
nutella sex= disaster
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
