elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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