Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
