That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
