you have to choose: penises or morals?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
