The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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