yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
