what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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