I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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