Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
this will be a night to untag.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
