How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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