how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize