Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
