Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize