Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
