you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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