I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
