The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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