woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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