Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
